full of mistakes

Inside of me

ambience was perfect,
as if it was meant to kindle,
letting in the right amount of sunlight,
warming up with light bulbs,
the corner shades were calling upon the inner cry,

with a chance to peek,
with a choice of window,
chose my comfort zone,
to cover my face,
behind the clouds,
beneath the shadows,
away from the sight,

settling to the scents,
thirsty with the hot serve,
I could smell myself full of marshmallows,
set forth to wipe the dews,
the first thing that I wanted,
was to break that glass of rose,
to hold that dying rose in hand,
to let it free in the air,
to be carried by the wind,
instead, chose to burn my diary,
to see undoubtedly,
to open up now,
and let the flow continue,
let the words find their way,
let the tears become waterfalls,
be present,

hugging myself tightly,
with pride, I said,
I did right,
everything around me was supportive,
everyone around me was committed,
But I didn’t know it was so tough to pass,
so hard to get through,

with fear of words, fear of confession,
I did not want to walk in,
neither did I want to be called a marshmallow,
with a sign of relief,
I walked out to stare at the window where I sat,
to see the traces I left,
to comeback until I find the shift,

stopped by the next patient,
while renewing my year-long therapy,
it struck me, this isn’t a confession room,
but inside of me lies a confession.

– Nov 9, 2022