full of mistakes

I own and my own,
a space I love to be,
a place I love to escape,
planning to clear my head,
thoughts to manifest peace,
instead, down with anger and resentment,
trying to loosen up,
yet the tight knots,

Away from the outside creatures,
away from being invaded,
away I stand,
especially from the ones I wish,
at least for now,
enjoying this muted space,
enjoying the build-up air,
yet the accumulating baggage,
want to scream openly if what I feel,
but to end up sharing as a complaint,

As I share, I keep hearing,
everything stands on adjustments,
have been instilled with this word at every step,
for it has been misused in all means,
not allowing one to take that action,
but to grow insecure,

My heart aches,
My body reacts,
Hate this deal of mine,
Hate to be part of this,

calculating this move,
finding the comfort,
allowing myself to traverse,
not for a few minutes,
but to spend hours and hours,
to release, relieve and fall asleep,
to sleep through the night,
to sleep like a baby.

-Nov 14, 2021